Mr Pibb+ Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

Ya ya…I’m sure I was the last person on the planet to see this, but it’s good enough to post, just in case you haven’t seen it.

“You could call us Aaron Burr,
From the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.”

http://www.gorillamask.net/snlnarnia.shtml

https://secure.bluecollardistro.com/crazydelicious/

I don’t care who y’are, that’s funny, right there...

...unlike the unfunny guy who says “I don’t care who y’are, that’s funny right there.”

Tool Guide

Here is my guide to tools, shop supplies, and misc. other stuff for the non-mechanic. When you ask mechanics what tools to buy, they often suggest impractical choices for the casual user because their perspective is different than the average person. A mechanic needs tools that don’t break, and are the very best that they can be. We, well…don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand tools that don’t work, and that’s the point of this post. Over a lot of time and trial-and-error, I have learned what tools are worth dropping the big money on (not many) and how you can get by when that isn’t the case. I will come back here and keep this page updated, so feel free to make suggestions, and to link to the post.


Tool Vendors

Craftsman: http://www.sears.com/ or your local MegaMall…Sears tools. You can order on line or go to the store and buy them. One cool thing about Craftsman hand tools is the lifetime unconditional warranty. If you bring a 10 year old screwdriver into a Sears w. a broken tip, they will exchange it for a new one, right on the spot. Cool, eh?

Harbor Freight: http://www.harborfreight.com/ or there are retail locations. These are cheap tools, but lots of hard-to-find stuff. Also, this is Shangri-La for specialty tools, and power tools that you won’t use every day (see my drill press note below). They also sell many tools that they will warranty on the spot, but it’s not all of them. I refer to them as “HF” sometimes.

Home Depot: Good selection of quality power tools, for hand tools, typically Sears or H.F. is better.

Snap-On: This is the white truck you see driving around to mechanic shops. You can stop in wherever you see the truck, and they will be happy to lighten your wallet for you. Top notch tools for an extremely large amount of money. If you want something from the Snap On guy, go to your local garage and ask them when the Snap On guy comes…he’s on a schedule. Meet him there, and bring a fat checking acct. balance.


Tool Guide

Allen wrenches: Harbor Freight - ultra cheap, and do the job. They do wearout if you use them alot, but they cost about $8 for a set. I have (2) setsof T-handles from there I've had for 4 years that I think cost me a total of$30. NOTE: If you do lots of work, you might want to get one set of betterkeys from Sears...but the Sears T-handle ones are no better than the HF onesand they're x2 the price. Oh, another NOTE: if you want a set of T-handlesthat are really good on the cheap, Google up the Motion Pro set. Not toospendy, and high quality. Also, when your allen keys wear out, you can grind off the last few mm off the end and poof new allen key w. sharp edges!

Canopy: Sam’s Club – for $210 they’ve got the EZ-Up Encore II. This is by far the best value in pop-up canopies going. It comes w. (4) zippered sides, a nice, thick top, and a very sturdy frame. The $100 special at Wal-Mart is false economy (don’t ask how I know this). Spring for the $210 one. Oh, and if it does break, schlep it back to Sam’s Club and they will exchange it. Really.

Compressor: HF - no place on Earth has as large a selection of perfectly good, cheap as hell compressors, hoses, air tools, and accessories awesome selection of hoses and attachments). A while back I bought an air-powered body saw (like a mini saber saw) and cut (60) 12 ga. sheet metal panels with it...it didn't break a sweat, worked perfectly, and cost me all of $19 with (4) blades. Try that in the Snap On truck. Oh, and if you watch the sales, compressors can be had for a song. I bought a 25 gallon stand-up model (the w/ oil kind) on sale for $94.00 last year...shipped to my house. I then went to the HF store and bought a 30' hose w/ reel, quick connect kit, and a few chucks for a total of about $30.

Cordless Drill: Sears or Home Depot - watch the sales. I tried a HF one and it was crap. Then I bought a Black & Decker 12v one at Home Depot on closeout for $30 and it rocks. For what I do, the 18v ones are overkill, and I don't like the substantial extra weight. The 12v one will drive a 4" #8 wood screw right through a pressure-treated 4x4 w/ no pilot hole. Do you really need more than that? If you’re someone who needs the best then buy Makita (the blue ones) at Home Depot…kinda spendy though.

Drill Press: Harbor Freight - in case you're noticing a trend, if you need tools that would normally be too pricey for the non-mechanic to buy (air tools, machine tools, etc) this is the place. They regularly have a floor-standing drill press on sale for around $120. I bought a multi-speed bench-top model there last year on sale for $49, and I've used it alot (drilling for safety wire mostly)...no probs. Hell, I paid more than that for my cordless drill...oh, no I didn’t…but still ( .

Motorcycle stands: Handy Industries or Pit Bull - H.I. for ultra-cheap ($99 for a front and rear stand together) and Pit Bull for the quality (I think it's about $250 for the set these days. The Handy stands work fine, but aren't as stable as the Pit Bull's. In fact, they don’t compare at all (but they do work). The Pit Bull ones are very solid…like, your grandkids will pass them on when they’re too old to need them any more.

Multimeter: HF again - I'm sure I'll hear about this from electricians everywhere, but I'vehad the same El Cheapo HF digital meter ($12 at the time IIRC) for 5 or 6 years, and it works fine. I also have a very expensive one (that looks suspiciously exactly like my cheap one) and I’ve compared readings of the two more than a few times…always spot on.

Pliers: HF again - get the complete set for $12 or whatever. If you do a lot of electrical stuff, go to Sears and get some good dikes though. Note that no-name vise-grip knockoffs suck. If you want Vise-Grips, go to Sears and get good knockoffs, or buy the real thing.

Ratchets: Craftsman and HF- ratchets are the only tool I've worn out a few of, and they're always cheap-o's. I have one Craftsman that is 15 years old, and still works fine. However, if you need one bad, and you are poor, go to Harbor Freight, where you can buy some for about $6. My exact strategy is that I have (2) good Craftsman 3/8" ones because that's what gets the bulk of the use. Then I bought a bunch of specialty ones at HF for cheap (stubby ones, flex-head, etc). This has worked out well re: always having the tool I need at a low investment level.

Ratchet Extensions: Harbor Freight - they work fine, and you can fill an entire drawer of your toolbox for about $15. Get a set of the wobble-end ones…they rock.

Screwdrivers: Snap On - I swear upon all that is sacred to me that you will never regret this purchase...you will have them forever, and the handles are the best in the biz. If you can't afford it ($115+ for a set), skip all the way to Harbor Freight. None of the ones in between are worth bothering, and they have some that have Snap On knockoff handles...not as tough, but stillgood for gripping. It has been my experience that if you pay close attention to making sure you have the proper size screwdriver for the screw you're wanting to turn, this is about 90% of the battle re: not stripping the head...even if you have cheap screwdrivers.

Sockets: Craftsman - nobody needs better (there may not be better, unless you need thin walls). If you lose sockets a lot, then get them at Harbor Freight (HF) instead…they are pretty good too.Sockets (specialty): harbor Freight - I'm talking about Torx, allen head sockets, etc. They're virtually free, and they work great.Tool box: Sears - the mid-grade rollaways are economical, well-designed, and long-lasting. I've got about $250 into mine total, and it's great. It travels to every race with me, and has held up great. I am confident it will be with me until I die.

Wrenches: Craftsman - the regular grade ones are fine, and they have the cool Snap-On looking skinnier shiny ones too...good for tight spots, but not necessary. Get a set of the ratchet wrenches while you’re there…best tool ever. One thing that sucks about Craftsman is that sometimes it’s hard to find a set of wrenches unless you want a combo set w. SAE and metric. If you only need one or the other, sometimes you’re SOL.

Wrenches (specialty): Harbor Freight – crowfoot, stubby, extra-long, etc., they have it all. Remember these tools get even less use than your regular tools, so it is not necessary to spend big dollars on them.

I have a fever today...can you tell?

How many truly great blogs go unseen? Lots and lots, I’d wager. Don’t worry, I’m not in any danger of wanting to lump my own into such a category, but the fact that nobody (except for my wife and a couple of friends…and even then, rarely) ever reads mine got me thinking about that. It’s a shame really.

More importantly, I wonder how many potentially great writings are never written because the writer gives up when he or she realizes that nobody will read it no matter how wonderful it is? Just this second as I type this, I’ve decided that this will be a focus for my ‘what I’d do with a zillion dollars’ theory (everyone is entitled to such an indulgence). If I ever get a zillion dollars, I will pay a staff of readers to read blogs and unearth the diamonds, as it were.

So many people are doing this these days…don’t you think the number of really superb writings you’re missing every day is probably staggering? Ok, maybe it isn’t staggering, but still.

By the way, that chapter of fiction is not a part of a longer work (you’re welcome). I wrote it completely at the spur of the moment…it just sorta spilled out. I didn’t even know where it was going as I wrote it. I know that sounds odd, but at least it explains the clumsiness and lack of focus it has. Then again, I think it could be part of something fun to read if I worked at it. Should I try my hand at fiction? It was really fun to write, I have to admit, but I couldn’t possibly have less of an idea what I’m doing when it comes to fiction. Hell, that was my first-ever attempt.

It did occur to me that maybe I could just periodically see if I can come up with one chapter, like the one below. The idea would be that the chapter would ostensibly be a part of a larger work, but there’d be no such work. The reader would be left to ponder what might have come before, or what came after…think of it like a solitary literary version of, “The Industrial Revolution was neither ‘industrial’ nor a ‘revolution.’ Discuss.”

Is this idea even the least bit compelling? Maybe it’s been done many times before and I’ve simply never heard of it? Or maybe it hasn’t ever been done, and there’s a very good reason for same. I’ll think about it.

Then again, does it really matter? Who’s gonna see it?

Chapter 1?

Robert was stunned.

“What the fuck did you think?” Claire spat. “Did you think that this would somehow endear you to me?”

Claire’s staring eyes bore down on Robert , exerting a pressure he could physically feel in his chest, and that surprised him. It wasn’t surprising that such a vitriolic outburst gave rise to a reaction, but he was taken aback by the sudden realization that he actually cared for this woman.

“Well? Do you have anything to say? Do you think I owe you something now, or what?” The word ‘owe’ was delivered with a fierceness that made Robert cringe inside.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, Robert thought to himself.  He was really struggling to deal with Claire’s anger, but his face remained impassive. When he’d paid Claire’s July rent, he’d done so in the hopes that, yes, it would endear him to her to some degree. He’d done such things before, and to great effect. This time however, it was different. He wasn’t yet sure how, but it…felt…different.

“Well, you did mention that things were a little tight for you, right? I mean, summer semester finals are coming, and you’ve cut back your hours. What’s the harm?” he asked.

While Robert’s newly discovered feelings were distracting to some degree, he didn’t lose focus. He’d seen it before. Claire was in the self-righteous indignation phase. Any moment now, she’d move on to quiet resignation and admit to herself that he really meant no harm, and so on.

“What’s the…Jesus Robert, I barely fucking know you at all. When did we meet? May? June even? We’ve been dating for a few weeks, and suddenly…Jesus…” she sighed, and her voice trailed off as the anger drained out of her. She sat down on the couch in that all-at-once way that people only do when they’re running out of steam. She was softening.

Robert put his drink on the counter, and walked into the living room. “Look, consider it a loan, ok? I didn’t mean to step on your toes. You owed Frank the rent, right? Ok, well, now you owe me the rent.” He smiled softly, and in a mocking tone, he said, “And, you’ll pay up too, if you know what’s good for ya.”

Claire looked up at him and smiled. “What are you gonna do, break my legs?”

Robert returned Claire’s smile, and said, “Look, I understand that I shouldn’t have acted without asking you first. I am sorry. Really.”

Claire’s smile broadened, and she gestured for him to sit beside her, which he did. He stretched his arm out and wrapped it around her shoulder. As she rested her head on his chest, Robert closed his eyes and smiled as he ran his fingers through her short auburn hair.

“Of course I won’t break your legs.”

Forging Ahead at Your Expense

I swear I have been trying to write more regularly. After all, I’ll never be a writer if I don’t write…right? The problem is that I have a conscience. If I don’t have something bashing its way out of my brain, demanding to be written I simply don’t write. Why is this a matter of conscience you ask?

Well, it seems to me to be…rude maybe, to write something that you are absolutely certain isn’t the least bit interesting to anyone. If it isn’t rude, it is at the very least, incredibly self-indulgent. I mean, what could possibly be more self-indulgent than writing, as I am right now, for absolutely no other reason than to write. Ok, technically it’s not indulgent of anything until I publish it to the web, but I know I will, so there you go.

Can you forgive me?

In other news, the Oregon State Supreme Court upheld that state’s assisted-by-a-doctor suicide law. I understand the theoretical implications of allowing doctors to perform this service, but is there really a good reason for assisted suicide to be illegal? Are we really that worried about euthanasia turning into a Fox Special Report; When Good Docs Go Bad TV episode?

Do we not have ultimate control over our very lives and therefore, our deaths? What is more personal than one’s own death? I’d say that by definition, nothing is more personal than that.